2023 NFL Regular Season
As a niners fan I have spent this entire offseason in a silent rage
The last 20 years of being a niners fan has been an agony unlike any any franchise has ever come across. You can sit there and bemoan being a browns fan or a lions fan or blah blah blah **** you. The reality is in this period of time has blueballed no fanbase more than us *******s.
I sat through Mike Nolan. I sat through Smith over Rodgers. I sat through Mike ****ing god damned cockbreath Singletary. And then…
2011: Kyle Williams single handedly loses the NFCCG by botching returns not once but ****ing twice against the shittiest super bowl champion history has ever seen
2012: Turtle****er has no concept for the play clock and somehow someway I have to sit there and watch Joe Flacco become a super bowl champion
2013: Richard Sherman goes full WWE promo because he tips away a potential game winner in the NFCCG
2014-2017: because of the shittiest GM who has ever breathed air (needle can attest), I end up with 3 years of watching Chip Kelly and something called a Jim Tomsula coach this team into nothingness
2018: thinking he is so ****ing smart that he can trade for someone and flip him later, Lynch trades a 2nd for Jimmy mother****ing Womp
2019: 10 point lead in the 4th quarter of the Super Bowl? Watch me work
2020: lol
2021: 10 point lead in the 4th quarter of the NFCCG? Watch me work
Which brings us to last year. Somehow, despite everything that happened for TWENTY ****ING YEARS this cut deepest. This wasn’t even fair. I thought I was done with Jimmy. I wasn’t. The guy we traded 3 1sts for went down for the year and we ended up with him long enough for him to be such a fiasco he lost to Denver by Orlovskying before going down for the year and letting the last pick of the draft be the qb
And the last pick of the draft went 10-0
And the last pick of the draft had a shot at taking the niners to the ****ing super bowl
And he broke his elbow
And by halftime the only other qb on the roster had a concussion
And in something unlike anything I have ever seen in my ENTIRE ****ING LIFE a conference title game was being played without a qb
After thinking about this for a few months preparing myself for this season I have decided one thing and one thing only: **** each and every last one of you
With that in mind, welcome to the 2023 NFL Season
Your contenders:
1. Kansas City Chiefs: +600
Get ****ed. **** your Kermit ass QB, **** your morbidly obese coach who can’t keep his own children alive, **** your Kermit ass QB’s brother who sounds like a sexual predator, **** your Kermit ass QB’s wife who sounds like she cucks Kermit on the regular while posting thirst traps for the gram
**** your fanbase. **** your chop that you still do in the year of our lord 2023 for reasons I will never understand. **** your city, **** your state(s). I don’t give a **** if you claim the Chiefs from Kansas or Missouri, you’re a sack of ****. I had to watch you win a super bowl because your woman beating speedster broke open on Richard Sherman who is a man I want to see choke on his own delusion until the final ounce of life leaves his body. I hate you. I will always hate you
2. Philadelphia Eagles: +800
Get your ****ing ass out of here. Josh Johnson was drawing live to beat you until he got a concussion. JOSH JOHNSON! That buffoon has played for 47 football teams in 4 years. Neat little story. **** you anyway. Always Sunny has no redeeming characters cuz everyone in Philly is a malcontent POS. You have a jail in your stadiums. Trea Turner needed to buy billboard advertising to beg you to stop sending his family death threats. The only solace I have in the 9ers losing the NFCCG is you didn’t win the Super Bowl
3. San Francisco 49ers: +1000
I ****ing hate 9er fans with a fire that burns from 20000 suns. Your average 9er fan? Calling into SPORTS TALK RADIO to say Lynch should be lynched and Kyle should be fired because blah blah blah 3 1st round picks for lance blah blah blah Jimmy was the guy who coulda won the super bowl blah blah blah. I’m stuck sitting here rooting for a team whose best player is a Proud Boy. Our QB is from Iowa by way of Arizona so I already know before he opens his mouth he’s right there with Bosa. I visited Levis last year to watch the Rams game and somehow ended up in some insane wind tunnel directly underneath the pathway for where planes land in San Jose international 5 miles away. I was also watching a game in the parking lot of an amusement park for $400/ticket + $60 for a beer and chicken tenders. **** my ****ing life
4. Cincinnati Bengals: +1100
You dipshits give Paul Brown your hard earned money of which you have none. ****ing simps. Skyline chili is the stupidest **** I have ever heard of. You fat ****s sit at the alter of Joe Burrow despite the fact that he’s basically Boomer Esiason with a cigar. Have fun with that. You’re about to make him the highest paid NFL player of all time and there’s a 50/50 chance he’ll have some sort of leg injury that knocks him out for the next 7 seasons.
Also I drafted Chase last year and he was ****. So **** him. **** you too
5. Dallas Cowboys: +1500
Give me a second here….
I hate every single human being associated with this franchise and nothing gets my cock harder than knowing they have spent the last 2 years watching this team lose to the 9ers in the playoffs in the stupidest way imaginable BOTH ****ING TIMES! I have no sympathy for you. I go to sleep every night hoping Jerry Jones dies and wake up every morning furious he hasn’t. You employ Mike McCarthy. You pay some “mental health day” snowflake named Dakota an ungodly sum of money to win never. Micah Parsons gives heavy Clayton Bigsby vibes only Micah knows he’s black.
And the fans of this franchise?
Holy **** you ****ing loser ass dipshits in your loser ass city and your bumass state. If there was a just and loving god Texas would be ethered from existence and we wouldn’t have to pretend you how bout dem cowboy hicks have anything to say that we need to listen to. I will take a personal day when Jimmy Johnson dies to spend it all masturbating
6-32. Who gives a living ****
**** the Jets. Congrats on landing the immunized one. Can’t wait til you turn on him
**** the Ravens. You paid Lamar. Enjoy watching him do nothing
**** the Dolphins. I’m not certain Tua isn’t braindead as of this post
**** all of you. Let us football
As long as he assassinates the chefs Super Bowl chances
Ba dum tshhh
Turns out Jack Ruby looked exactly like Pat Mahomes!
I regret nothing
CMC was also asked to compare Brock to Cam.
SB media week is so bad.
I did enjoy Shanny's drunk monologue about how he knew Brock was the best QB on the team from the start.
On a different note, Matt Rhule had the nerve to say he told the Panthers Purdy should be on the draft board but was overrhuled. Yeah, the guy who had final say on all roster moves said he was vetoed. I hate him.
Ba dum tshhh
CMC was also asked to compare Brock to Cam.
SB media week is so bad.
I did enjoy Shanny's drunk monologue about how he knew Brock was the best QB on the team from the start.
On a different note, Matt Rhule had the nerve to say he told the Panthers Purdy should be on the draft board but was overrhuled. Yeah, the guy who had final say on all roster moves said he was vetoed. I hate him.
ICWYDT
👍
On a different note, Matt Rhule had the nerve to say he told the Panthers Purdy should be on the draft board but was overrhuled.
ICWYDT.
Reminds me of the Sean Peyton story when he claimed Patrick Mahomes was the best college QB he's ever seen on tape and that the Saints definitely would have picked him at #11 to replace Drew Brees. FWIW, during his time as an NFL QB coach / OC /HC , he watched college tape of Peyton Manning and Andrew Luck.
So not only is he saying that he knew all along about Mahomes but also that he thought the 31 other teams were too stupid to see that so Mahomes would still be available at #11.
Re Matt Rhule, did that arbitration suit against the Panthers get settled?
Also NFL owners: we need the Rooney rule and end racism in the end zones to make people think we care!
Absolutely ****ing ludicrous to complain about this
As I've said ITT, the incentives are for a team to hire more non-whites as coordinators (you get a pick) and hire less non-whites head coaches (your competition gets a pick).
It is only a matter of time to when two teams out of the playoffs who are going to fire their HC anyways decide to hire each others non-white coordinators to give each other free picks. If they were smart they would hire each others non-white coordinators as HC then demote them back to a coordinator then the original teams would hire them back as HC then demote them to coordinator and continue this process until both teams have 10-15 comp picks.
ICWYDT.
Reminds me of the Sean Peyton story when he claimed Patrick Mahomes was the best college QB he's ever seen on tape and that the Saints definitely would have picked him at #11 to replace Drew Brees. FWIW, during his time as an NFL QB coach / OC /HC , he watched college tape of Peyton Manning and Andrew Luck.
So not only is he saying that he knew all along about Mahomes but also that he thought the 31 other teams were too stupid to see
Some coaches certainly like to self-inflate using hindsight.
I haven't seen any reports on the arbitration suit since it was filed last February. Even when Google searching, those are the only articles that come up. Nothing recent.
Was interested preseason how Bieniemy would do. Big Red is a certified genius but I guess it didn't rub off. Howell was the talk of the league for a minute, and then regressed bad. Tape doesn't lie l guess. Getting canned after one year sucks.
"I don't think they gave [Howell] a fair chance,” a player said. “I felt like we became a one-dimensional team.”
https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/eri...
Incentivizing teams to hire non-white coordinators who may become coaches by giving them compensatory picks if it happens is accidentally the only thing the nfl is doing that encourages diversity in head coaches. Let’s not sit here and pretend the Rooney rule has achieved literally anything other than wasting the token black candidate’s time. Should it come to that? Meh prolly not, but it has clearly panned out. Miami and houston got solid
I mean, the Raiders literally had to waste two people's time before being able to "hire" Antonio Pierce.
That's embarrassing and should piss everyone off.
Was interested preseason how Bieniemy would do. Big Red is a certified genius but I guess it didn't rub off. Howell was the talk of the league for a minute, and then regressed bad. Tape doesn't lie l guess. Getting canned after one year sucks.
"I don't think they gave [Howell] a fair chance,” a player said. “I felt like we became a one-dimensional team.”
they should definitely have improved their protection and changed play calling to ensure he was releasing before pressure more.
Stefanski 2x COY in 4 years gonna look funny when he gets fired in 11 months
not a shocker but I did think Demeco would win
Flacco comeback player of the year vs a guy that died, only FLACKS could be that elite.
Lamar 49 first place votes, DVOA guy put him third
yeah no clue how flacco wins for making 5 starts and coming back from the couch
if a QB is gonna win then should've been tua or stafford who cameback from legit injuries, played the entire year and had better years lol
also they changed the voting to some pts system that had hamlin get 21 1st place votes to flaccos 13 and still lose
really very happy with the Hall of Fame class.
all guys I watched and rated and I think deserve to get in. I was never the biggest fan of Freeney (preferred Ware and Peppers) but I can't argue he didn't deserve it but then Peppers, Hester, Willis and Andre Johnson were all personal favourites of mine.
I'm particularly happy Johnson got in - such a low key guy on low key teams and I was kind of worried that this might count against him. But a total stud
I assumed Gradishar was in HOF, surprised it took this long.
I always considered Peppers to be one of the best at his position, underrated if that were possible.
I like Stefanski, but him over Campbell?
this is a fine argument in general, but not if compared to Hamlin. Flacco played 2.7x more snaps (including playoff games) than Hamlin did after all
+1
Campbell's team culture makeover took root. plus they actually won their division
😃
Hamlin is a lock for that award if he actually plays. Just being a ST regular would have been enough.
Now you can argue that occupying a roster spot should be enough for him. I agree with that. But it's fair that others don't.
