What is your criteria for choosing your friends?
I believe everyone has some kind of criteria for choosing their friends, whether it's a broad or strict one everyone has some kind.
So I was thinking about this subject these days and I was curious to ask you what criteria do you use to choose your friends and for what reasons?
What traits do you consider essential to consider someone as a friend? What makes you consider someone untrustworthy?
Everybody has some criteria to choose their friends, you also have and probably never stopped to reflect about it.
I honestly doubt that you would consider being a friend of a sociopath, narcissist, or something like that, or am I wrong and you would be a friend of someone like that anyway?
It's that the entire question is reverse-engineering a process that doesn't happen that way. "This is what I would like my friend to be" is not how it goes. You make one or more decisions to spend time around a person, and then it sticks or it doesn't. Sometimes the reason it doesn't stick is one of these dealbreakers that are being bizarrely offered ITT in list form, or sometimes it's just that the person bores you and it isn't fun to be around them even though they're a perfectly solid person.
would you look how consumerism has crept into human companionship
Mine is playing prospective new friends the song Friends by Eric Johnson.
Spoiler
When you met him, did you already know that he was a criminal and still wanted to be his friend anyway?
The more I got to know him, the more I learned about his prior offenses.
I am generally forgiving of most mistakes. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't have dropped him in a heartbeat if he put me in a bad situation. Which never came close to happening, because I am particularly decent at measuring the human heart.
My Closest friend, in my entire life, has been my personal friend since we were 13 years old... over nearly 50 years, we never grew apart and he was closer to me than even my wife... He was a brother to me.
He was a boy genius and mechanically superior to almost every other person I have ever met, including working on 'one of the kind' vintage race cars. he worked here at 17 years old and was top of the food chain at this race car restoration shop.
I even manged to save his life on more than one occasion, once when we were rock climbing without protection, and I stop him from tumbling 100' down a sheer face and once from being pummeled to death by a gang over zealous bouncers at a King Crimson Concert he had jumped the fence to get into at the Greek Theater.
That being said, we grew up in the 1970's and that was a different time in terms of drug and alcohol abuse. While I stopped abusing such things, yet he continued to spiral into the depths of despair of which he could not shake free of. Over the years, he continued to acquire and loose Wonderful jobs/responsibilities and now, over the last couple years, he is basically homeless while he continues to prey upon others good will for alcohol sustenance and dwelling protection.
we stayed friends over the decades despite his sinking, and I tried many times to get him back on track and to reach his full potential, but to him it all seemed like a joke and he was more than willing to go down in the flames of a wasted life.
I finally reached a breaking point a couple years ago because of some extreme belligerent behavior, and I told myself that I just could not do it any more... I could not go back to being his friend because it had reached a point where it was affecting my life negatively... when I wanted to surround myself with positivity.
I feel extremely bad that I could not help my brother back to being positive and contributing to society, but I think that people need to be responsible for their own actions, and while it seems cold and distant, I am resigned and complacent with my choice to abandon him... when in fact, he abandoned himself many decades earlier.
what level of commitment is required to tether yourself to another like an astronaut
That's a really good question, and way of putting it.
Knowing that one has to be willing to sacrifice themselves in order to save someone else...
Laurie Anderson tells a great story in one of her songs where she is describing an abusive relationship and codependency. She tells of seeing a glorious eagle soaring around with the skull of a dead weasel clamped around it is neck and it made her feel that she is the weasel drastically hanging onto a desirable boy friend, the eagle... she can't open her mouth to say something otherwise she will let go of the neck and fall to the ground alone. The two are locked together, forever.
My Closest friend, in my entire life, has been my personal friend since we were 13 years old... over nearly 50 years, we never grew apart and he was closer to me than even my wife... He was a brother to me.
He was a boy genius and mechanically superior to almost every other person I have ever met, including working on 'one of the kind' vintage race cars. he worked here at 17 years old and was top of the food chain at this race car restoratio
Very few people have the privilege of having a long and true friendship like that, although what happened seems like a bad fate, looking from another perspective you were truly blessed to have a friendship such as this.
I'm sad to know that he followed such a bad path in life like that. Although I don't know him, I honestly hope he gets out of that and things get better for him.
Thanks for sharing your experience, btw.
Oh, I get it... I am just not made from the same stuff.
I am encumbered with many foibles and contradictions...
From personal experience, the ability to have gone to college with me (specifically in my same dorm building), or have worked with me.
Looking deeper, negative-attention getter, plays games/poker, sarcastic humor
No criteria
I talk to people. You click or you don't
If you do, it can possibly become a real friendship. If not, probably not
You guys think too hard about it
3) How people react to stand-up comedy in person is SUPER telling. Not just with friends you're hanging out with either, it was by far my favorite choice for a second date. Whether the comics were good or bad doesn't matter, you will immediately weed out some folks for me there
I'd love for you to elaborate on this
No criteria
I talk to people. You click or you don't
If you do, it can possibly become a real friendship. If not, probably not
You guys think too hard about it
In my opinion, what makes you ''click'' or not click when you meet someone is the criteria that you have and probably never thought about.
I don't believe it is something magical that sometimes happens and sometimes doesn't.
Size of hooters...
I followed the teachings and wisdom of OP and gave it some thought.
My criteria is kindness, sense of humor, and smarts. Have all three and I will be your friend.
What about political ideologies? I've noticed I've friends on both sides. Both MAGA and libs.
As much as I would assume it's a deciding factor, it doesn't appear to be.
Welp.
A true bro will suck your dick. #nohomo
THAT ^... is some Apex Predator shyte right there!
well done good sir, well done.
