2023 NFL Regular Season
As a niners fan I have spent this entire offseason in a silent rage
The last 20 years of being a niners fan has been an agony unlike any any franchise has ever come across. You can sit there and bemoan being a browns fan or a lions fan or blah blah blah **** you. The reality is in this period of time has blueballed no fanbase more than us *******s.
I sat through Mike Nolan. I sat through Smith over Rodgers. I sat through Mike ****ing god damned cockbreath Singletary. And then…
2011: Kyle Williams single handedly loses the NFCCG by botching returns not once but ****ing twice against the shittiest super bowl champion history has ever seen
2012: Turtle****er has no concept for the play clock and somehow someway I have to sit there and watch Joe Flacco become a super bowl champion
2013: Richard Sherman goes full WWE promo because he tips away a potential game winner in the NFCCG
2014-2017: because of the shittiest GM who has ever breathed air (needle can attest), I end up with 3 years of watching Chip Kelly and something called a Jim Tomsula coach this team into nothingness
2018: thinking he is so ****ing smart that he can trade for someone and flip him later, Lynch trades a 2nd for Jimmy mother****ing Womp
2019: 10 point lead in the 4th quarter of the Super Bowl? Watch me work
2020: lol
2021: 10 point lead in the 4th quarter of the NFCCG? Watch me work
Which brings us to last year. Somehow, despite everything that happened for TWENTY ****ING YEARS this cut deepest. This wasn’t even fair. I thought I was done with Jimmy. I wasn’t. The guy we traded 3 1sts for went down for the year and we ended up with him long enough for him to be such a fiasco he lost to Denver by Orlovskying before going down for the year and letting the last pick of the draft be the qb
And the last pick of the draft went 10-0
And the last pick of the draft had a shot at taking the niners to the ****ing super bowl
And he broke his elbow
And by halftime the only other qb on the roster had a concussion
And in something unlike anything I have ever seen in my ENTIRE ****ING LIFE a conference title game was being played without a qb
After thinking about this for a few months preparing myself for this season I have decided one thing and one thing only: **** each and every last one of you
With that in mind, welcome to the 2023 NFL Season
Your contenders:
1. Kansas City Chiefs: +600
Get ****ed. **** your Kermit ass QB, **** your morbidly obese coach who can’t keep his own children alive, **** your Kermit ass QB’s brother who sounds like a sexual predator, **** your Kermit ass QB’s wife who sounds like she cucks Kermit on the regular while posting thirst traps for the gram
**** your fanbase. **** your chop that you still do in the year of our lord 2023 for reasons I will never understand. **** your city, **** your state(s). I don’t give a **** if you claim the Chiefs from Kansas or Missouri, you’re a sack of ****. I had to watch you win a super bowl because your woman beating speedster broke open on Richard Sherman who is a man I want to see choke on his own delusion until the final ounce of life leaves his body. I hate you. I will always hate you
2. Philadelphia Eagles: +800
Get your ****ing ass out of here. Josh Johnson was drawing live to beat you until he got a concussion. JOSH JOHNSON! That buffoon has played for 47 football teams in 4 years. Neat little story. **** you anyway. Always Sunny has no redeeming characters cuz everyone in Philly is a malcontent POS. You have a jail in your stadiums. Trea Turner needed to buy billboard advertising to beg you to stop sending his family death threats. The only solace I have in the 9ers losing the NFCCG is you didn’t win the Super Bowl
3. San Francisco 49ers: +1000
I ****ing hate 9er fans with a fire that burns from 20000 suns. Your average 9er fan? Calling into SPORTS TALK RADIO to say Lynch should be lynched and Kyle should be fired because blah blah blah 3 1st round picks for lance blah blah blah Jimmy was the guy who coulda won the super bowl blah blah blah. I’m stuck sitting here rooting for a team whose best player is a Proud Boy. Our QB is from Iowa by way of Arizona so I already know before he opens his mouth he’s right there with Bosa. I visited Levis last year to watch the Rams game and somehow ended up in some insane wind tunnel directly underneath the pathway for where planes land in San Jose international 5 miles away. I was also watching a game in the parking lot of an amusement park for $400/ticket + $60 for a beer and chicken tenders. **** my ****ing life
4. Cincinnati Bengals: +1100
You dipshits give Paul Brown your hard earned money of which you have none. ****ing simps. Skyline chili is the stupidest **** I have ever heard of. You fat ****s sit at the alter of Joe Burrow despite the fact that he’s basically Boomer Esiason with a cigar. Have fun with that. You’re about to make him the highest paid NFL player of all time and there’s a 50/50 chance he’ll have some sort of leg injury that knocks him out for the next 7 seasons.
Also I drafted Chase last year and he was ****. So **** him. **** you too
5. Dallas Cowboys: +1500
Give me a second here….
I hate every single human being associated with this franchise and nothing gets my cock harder than knowing they have spent the last 2 years watching this team lose to the 9ers in the playoffs in the stupidest way imaginable BOTH ****ING TIMES! I have no sympathy for you. I go to sleep every night hoping Jerry Jones dies and wake up every morning furious he hasn’t. You employ Mike McCarthy. You pay some “mental health day” snowflake named Dakota an ungodly sum of money to win never. Micah Parsons gives heavy Clayton Bigsby vibes only Micah knows he’s black.
And the fans of this franchise?
Holy **** you ****ing loser ass dipshits in your loser ass city and your bumass state. If there was a just and loving god Texas would be ethered from existence and we wouldn’t have to pretend you how bout dem cowboy hicks have anything to say that we need to listen to. I will take a personal day when Jimmy Johnson dies to spend it all masturbating
6-32. Who gives a living ****
**** the Jets. Congrats on landing the immunized one. Can’t wait til you turn on him
**** the Ravens. You paid Lamar. Enjoy watching him do nothing
**** the Dolphins. I’m not certain Tua isn’t braindead as of this post
**** all of you. Let us football
vrabel took over a 9-7 (1-1) playoff team and went:
9-7
9-7 (2-1)
11-5 (0-1)
12-5 (0-1)
7-10
6-11
so i guess i get it. he took over a decent team, beat up on a lousy division for a while, choked in the playoffs, and then faded into bolivian. might be better to err on the side of caution by keeping vrabel given the odds that a rando replacement will be disastrous, but i get it. team is def going the wrong way
the other question is why did mike mularkey get got? went 9-7 twice, won a road playoff game in the 2nd season (franchise's 1st playoff win since 2003), and they said see ya later. and then he basically retired from coaching (he's not super old or anything) life comes at you fast. maybe he just had enough, in which case, good for him
LMAO Kaaron doubling down today by doing a literature review on the covid research.
We cant really evaluate the decision to fire Vrabel without the details. Some reports are that he wanted a super gm to oversee both him and Ran Carthon. Other reports is that he stopped a full rebuild from happening this season which cost the franchise future draft capital to end up being dead last in the division anyway.
I think Vrabel is above average but he has some flaws. He sticks too long with bad coordinators (Downing and Auckerman c
Yeah, I think it was as much about whether Vrabel and the FO could work together moving forward, as it was about the results on the field the last two seasons.
I think the relationship has been broken since the AJB trade.
It does seem like an odd decision, but there's got to be more to it.
Just surface level impression is he was a players coach (helps to be a former player) but I don't follow the Titans all that closely.
Vrabel will get a new HC gig in the next few weeks. Obviously the Pats seem like a logical fit if that job comes up but I’d heard a few times that Jerod Mayo has basically been promised the gig
Having said all that, the Krafts should be looking for the right GM/Head of Football Ops guy first and then let him/her make all decisions from there
LMAO Kaaron doubling down today by doing a literature review on the covid research.
Throw Rogan is something else
Kimmel monologue was basically lambasting him but saying (paraphrasing) ‘he won’t apologize, I’ll accept it and move on, but he won’t’
Unsurprisingly not only did he not apologize cuz he did nothing wrong, but it’s everyone else’s fault for thinking that’s what he meant. And he’d totally never call anyone a pedophile but YOU made it worse cuz you thought he did
Gotemmmmmmm
vrabel took over a 9-7 (1-1) playoff team and went:
9-7
9-7 (2-1)
11-5 (0-1)
12-5 (0-1)
7-10
6-11
This is why I said he's slightly overrated. Like, I don't think he's terrible, but the way a lot of people talk about him you'd expect better results.
Also not sure if he had any say in the AJ Brown trade or keeping Tannehill as long as they did.
LMAO Kaaron doubling down today by doing a literature review on the covid research.
I haven't read or heard his comments, but I assume this is not going to go over well with the NFL. The NFL can't like him being right and continuing to spike the football in the NFLs face.
It was common knowledge back then that covid wasn't killing or seriously hurting healthy/young people and for whatever reason the NFL still threated their employees livelihoods if they didn't follow their orders despite many of their employees being some of the healthiest people in the world.
Mark my words: instead of the Che Guevera t-shirts that a lot of hippies wear today, in the future you are going to see the same style t-shirts, but with Godgers face on them. Che is remembered as a symbol of rebellion.
FYI beyond the symbol of rebellion there aren't many similarities between the two as Che was a bad person and Godgers isn't.
very suttle
With Vrabel and Smith out, are there any coaches left who insist upon rocking the quarter-zip vest as standard attire? Great look for the stocky body type imo
guessing Vrabel fills it out better than Smith
Josh Allen led a 4th quarter drive that tied or took the lead in 4 of the Bills 6 losses
In no games did he lose a 4th quarter lead on a turnover
Not all MVP candidates can claim the latter…
Can someone explain to me the point of getting rid of BB to bring in one of his former assistants?
Seems to me the point of getting rid of him is going in a completely different direction not getting the straight to dvd sequels
Can someone explain to me the point of getting rid of BB to bring in one of his former assistants?
Seems to me the point of getting rid of him is going in a completely different direction not getting the straight to dvd sequels
yeah, my guess is that this was BB’s preferred succession plan and his way (and perhaps also the Krafts’) of keeping Mayo at the Pats.
But I agree that if they make a break they need to start again
guessing that the delay in news from the Pats is BB not resigning to ensure he gets paid out in full but the Krafts looking for a trade partner
BB actually has a ton of leverage given timing if he wants to use it. He can make it clear that he doesn’t want to go to the potential trade partners and stonewall and given timing this would force the Krafts to make a decision given how fast the coaching recruitment cycle moves. Then he can get paid out and have a free market ( assuming there isn’t offset language in his contract)
Pretty wild that after his brother went on The Bachelorette lots of people thought it was Aaron's family doing him wrong.
FWIW, Josh Allen is +5000 to win MVP at Draftkings. So let's put that word in quotation marks. Which other MVP "candidate" used the most important game of the season to throw end zone interceptions on his first two drives?
You can argue Allen's biggest contribution to the win against Miami was his 3rd quarter lost fumble that set up the punt return TD that tied the game.
why do people keep saying vrabel is a BB disciple or part of that tree?
he played for the team 15 years ago, he never once coached for them in any way, that is totally different
as far as my opinion of him as a coach, meh, not much different than all the rest of these guys. You win the CJ Stroud lottery, you're sharp. You get Bryce Young, you aren't. Etc etc
the era of coaches having big edges over one another is over for the most part besides a few outliers
What's with all the Josh Allen spamming? Most people think he's good.
but were you aware Tua lead the nfl in fumbles recovered this season?
LMAO Kaaron doubling down today by doing a literature review on the covid research.
i hereby pledge not to acknowledge his existence from this point forward
can you say the same
2024 cap space chart by team
https://overthecap.com/salary-cap-space
of the playoff teams, Texans have 3rd most space and basically nobody on their roster to pay. (plus will likely cut Robert Woods I'd think and save $5m Awesome opportunity for them to really go for it in Free Agency
Bengals have 5th most (and they can make savings on a few if they need to)...need to decide what to do with Higgins and the pay window opens on Chase, albeit Vikings just didn't pay JJ after 3 years, so we'll see.
Lions have 7th most. If they extend Goff they might actually create space. They will have to pay St Brown and also have a Penei Sewell decision (whether to extend or wait a year and use 5YO). My guess is they have Sewell and St Brown
Then of the teams looking for new coaches, Commanders (and Pats) have the most space in the League with Titans 4th. Commanders actually feels like an awesome GM opportunity - rich new owner, loads of cap space, franchise QB opportunity. Pats similarly albeit far greater expectations from the fan base
Because he's the most underrated quarterback. Most touchdowns in the league by far, 3-0 vs Tua and Mahomes and somehow Allen isn't even a pro bowler let alone in the MVP discussion. Josh throws 2 interceptions and that's all anyone talks about. Lamar throws two interceptions and no one bats an eye, they only talk about his "electric" plays.
Doesn't really matter. Allen doesn't care about personal accolades anyways. He will just beat lamar in the playoffs again, improve to 4-3 all time vs. Mahomes and maybe beat Tua for a 3rd time this year
guessing that the delay in news from the Pats is BB not resigning to ensure he gets paid out in full but the Krafts looking for a trade partner
BB actually has a ton of leverage given timing if he wants to use it. He can make it clear that he doesn’t want to go to the potential trade partners and stonewall and given timing this would force the Krafts to make a decision given how fast the coaching recruitment cycle moves. Then he can get pai
Does he really though? Do people really think that crotchety old bastard can assemble and field a winner?
Kraft needs to sign the check, let those nasty ass hoodies ride off into the sunset and reboot the whole thing.
Hoodie will make the QB they pick at 2 look like Mac Jones 2.0 within 18 months. Tops. The game has passed that dude by and even Happy Ending Kraft knows it.
Because he's the most underrated quarterback. Most touchdowns in the league by far, 3-0 vs Tua and Mahomes and somehow Allen isn't even a pro bowler let alone in the MVP discussion. Josh throws 2 interceptions and that's all anyone talks about. Lamar throws two interceptions and no one bats an eye, they only talk about his "electric" plays.
Doesn't really matter. Allen doesn't care about personal accolades anyways. He will just beat lamar
today i learn the diary of josh allen has a ghost writer
Because he's the most underrated quarterback. Most touchdowns in the league by far, 3-0 vs Tua and Mahomes and somehow Allen isn't even a pro bowler let alone in the MVP discussion. Josh throws 2 interceptions and that's all anyone talks about. Lamar throws two interceptions and no one bats an eye, they only talk about his "electric" plays.
Doesn't really matter. Allen doesn't care about personal accolades anyways. He will just beat lamar
Josh Allen is Andy Dalton with a better arm. Just when you think he's about to save your team, he makes a grade A horrendous decision that costs them the game/season.
Allen turned it over 22 times this year (18 INT, 4 fumbles lost). Only Sam Howell had more.
Allen isn't underrated. He's not an MVP and Pro Bowls are a joke anyway. Even the NFL thinks so - Pro Bowl Games anyone?
