The Box of Chocolates Thread (You never know what you're going to get!)

But if you really wanted a key, you could make one from dried toothpaste

The silence is resounding. Come on, browser, with an R, not even you have something smart to say?

**** it then, I'll tell a story.

I went to a bar earlier today, and a guy with his (I assume) wife and small daughter walked past. They were kicking a football to each other, which I thought was cool.

I shouted "pass", and he thought twice, but he passed me the ball. Then I passed it back.

Then he thought he was Ronaldinho and started trying to take it round me. I was like "dude, I used to be a defender, just stop trying".

So he kept trying anyway. So, as soon as I saw his centre of gravity move, I reacted much faster than anyone who has been drinking for 6 days should, and back-heeled the ball away. Just a knee jerk reaction.

He fisti-bumped me before he left and said "yep, you sure were a defender".

i did ask these fyi

There is an AMA in this forum that answers all these questions. Mine. Look fior threads started by me.

Sorry, but Im on Thailand time so most of your posts were posted arounf 2am my time when I was asleep. Very impressive story about the piece of steel and being such a real life tough guy and criminal. I don't have any stories like that. I am a retired Army Airborne Ranger, so all the death and destruction I may have been involved in was all legal, or at least sanctioned by the US Government as being in the national security of the United States. So nothing that would land me in jail. Hell, maybe, but not jail.

But threatening a guy with a piece of steel is super bad ass for sure.

It was self defense. How do you want to be raped? Not at all, right?

The thing is, in prison, there is no such thing as "self defense". There is only "mutual combat".

Weird way to jerk it but I don’t judge kink

As long as you oil it up, it's fine.

Pro tip: water is not a lubricant. You want something with petroleum content. Like astroglide. Or KY.

Actually, here's an interesting tidbit for you all.

WD-40 stands for "water displacement, 40th attempt". It was literally what was written on the petri dish when the forumula was finalised.

All I've done is live many years as an adult with very few responsibilities and very to lose, while somehow managing not to steal large sums of money or land myself in jail.

Well, you say that. You play 5/10 live, right? You have probably stolen more than I ever did.

I wasnt being sarcastic. That's a scary situation.

Never played that; I play mostly LHE, currently usually 20/40. I pretty much play minimum subsistence hours for my very low-baller lifestyle, so I may not have even won as much total as you stole, and all of that money was voluntarily put on the table for me to fairly win. It may actually be looked down upon more than embezzlement, but at least it doesn't send me to prison.

Want to hear something funny?

My bail was so high when I got arrested, that I was sent straight to max.

My first ever cell-mate, I asked him "what are you in for"? (I learnt later that you don't ask)

Hispanic guy, 19. He said, in broken english, "chased opp with a machete. attempted murder".

I was like, "****, I know where I am now".

I'm more concerned that he was sent to such an unsafe place.

Listen. Listen....

for the un-economic minded....

What I have suggested, IF TRUTH, means that the ENTIRE sphere of economics and global finance needs to re-look at bitcoin in a completely different light than idiot bitcoiners try to explain it.

That the cost of the action of doing a 'hash' is stable, would be an ABSOLUTE miracle.

And instead of debating it BGP just kicks me out. Its verifiable math, and empirically observable.

This is A JOKE!

Instead of deleting this one like your other posts were, I'll leave it up to provide this warning. You will not hijack this forum to discuss whatever BFI doesn't want you to discuss. We don't care how good the math is.

I realize we can't and won't but 100 missiles shot at Iran seems like a good response to their dumb proxy games

We forced the Germans into a hyperinflation fueled psychological frenzy and wrote history as blaming them for it.

And now its coming back to bite us...

As I was told - if you don't want to be in prison, don't commit crimes.

Also, I wasn't housed with just attempted murderers. I was housed with actual murderers.

How do you get booted out of BFI? That place was anything goes last time I stopped by.