The costs of trans visibility
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The costs of trans visibility

Yesterday, Dylan Mulvaney broke her silence: https://www.tiktok.com/@dylanmulvaney/vi....

For context, this is a trans influencer who built a 10 million strong following on TikTok. She took a brand deal with budweiser to post an ad on an instagram, and the anti-trans right went absolutely ballistic, calling for a boycott, condemning the company, and to some perhaps unknowable degree it influenced that Budweiser sales dropped by a 1/4 and

. Dylan speaks more personally about the effect of the hatred on her.

What strikes me about this story is that it is just about visibility. This isn't inclusion in sports or gender-affirming care for minors, it was just that a trans person was visible. This wasn't even visibility in a TV commerical that a poor right-winger is forced to see, it was an ad on her own instagram page. We're all in our own social media algorithm influenced bubbles, but from my vantage point it really has seemed that in the last year or so things have just gotten worse for trans people and the backlash to even minor visibility is growing.

We need to do better.

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30 June 2023 at 04:48 PM
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6827 Replies

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by The Horror k

I don't feel an obligation to "do something to save a kid" here, no.

I understand you don't see that here yes, I was asking more generally if you can accept there are cases where that obligation can arise, and so understand that for some of us it could apply here even if it doesn't for you


by The Horror k

How am I the problem? What suffering am I contributing to?

Do you call the 7 year old a she?

Exactly.

by checkraisdraw k

I’m not calling him a trans hater because of his position on trans women playing in women’s sports, because that’s my position as well. I’m calling him that because he’s calling them “men in dresses”.

Harassment against a protected class already has legislation surrounding it. The supreme court broadly interprets sex discrimination in the civil rights act as including sexual orientation and gender identity.


Justice Gorsuch in BOSTOCK v. CLAYT

I don't want to fire anyone for being a homosexual or for being transgender. If anything grown ups should do what ever the hell they want to. With that being said, biology 101 says men can NOT be women and vice versa. If that makes me a transphobe, well so be it.

I'm glad your stance is the same as mine when it comes to trans women playing in women's sports. Finding common ground with trans ideologues like yourself is borderline impossible but here we are. We did it.


by The Horror k

I'm more indifferent than 'trying to do what is right'

There is often a stage of moral nihilism when initially facing complexity.


by Luciom k

I understand you don't see that here yes, I was asking more generally if you can accept there are cases where that obligation can arise, and so understand that for some of us it could apply here even if it doesn't for you

Of course, there are cases where that obligation can arise.


by craig1120 k

There is often a stage of moral nihilism when initially facing complexity.

I've had the privilege to not personally face this complexity with anything at stake. I'm not a nihilist qua nihilist, but if this is nihilistic, I'm fine with that.


by The Horror k

Of course, there are cases where that obligation can arise.

by The Horror k

I've had the privilege to not personally face this complexity with anything at stake. I'm not a nihilist qua nihilist, but if this is nihilistic, I'm fine with that.

It takes a village.


All the totally not anti trans people attacking someone for having a truly moderate view is a sight. Where is Rick to set us straight on what a moderate viewpoint actually is?


by Betraisefold22 k

It takes a village.

Then, the village owes a lot of people a lot of money. Childcare is expensive.


by coordi k

All the totally not anti trans people attacking someone for having a truly moderate view is a sight. Where is Rick to set us straight on what a moderate viewpoint actually is?

Not sure if I'm a moderate. Frankly, I just don't think about trans issues often enough to have strong stances on them. I haven't opened up much headspace on the topic. I was just responding to the fear that kids are spreading transiness to one another and it could infect the poster's kids.

I did just remember that we have another family with whom we're close that has a non-binary 13-year-old. They expressed this a couple of years ago and we've known the family for about 11 years, so I misgender the kid frequently by accident. We've never discussed this kid's identity with our kids. It just hasn't come up.


by coordi k

All the totally not anti trans people attacking someone for having a truly moderate view is a sight. Where is Rick to set us straight on what a moderate viewpoint actually is?

At least your side is achieving what it’s trying to. Having parents who see other parents fail their children pretend it’s not happening or worse, pretend it’s normal.

Buddy over here referring to a 7 year old boy as a she and as a trans.


by The Horror k

Then, the village owes a lot of people a lot of money. Childcare is expensive.

It is with insane regulations. It wasn't without.

A normies 100 IQ 16y old girl was allowed to babysit 2-3 kids 30, years ago.

Now they would arrest her and the parents if that arrangement was regular, or something like that.


by coordi k

All the totally not anti trans people attacking someone for having a truly moderate view is a sight. Where is Rick to set us straight on what a moderate viewpoint actually is?

Cordi a pre puberal individual can't be trans because he doesn't even know what being a girl or a boy means.

Moderate viewpoint is trans people exist, and you can only be trans if after years living in sex X body after puberty, you constantly feel you actually are of the opposite sex without ever changing your mind.

Those people exist and shouldn't be discriminated against for this very peculiar characteristic, and when it costs us nothing or close to nothing to accomodate them, it's fair to claim we should do that


by Betraisefold22 k

At least your side is achieving what it’s trying to. Having parents who see other parents fail their children pretend it’s not happening or worse, pretend it’s normal.

Buddy over here referring to a 7 year old boy as a she and as a trans.

It’s undeniable the Woke are effective and have largely won over western culture.


by Luciom k

Cordi a pre puberal individual can't be trans because he doesn't even know what being a girl or a boy means.

Moderate viewpoint is trans people exist, and you can only be trans if after years living in sex X body after puberty, you constantly feel you actually are of the opposite sex without ever changing your mind.

Those people exist and shouldn't be discriminated against for this very peculiar characteristic, and when it costs us nothing or

I’m not going to try to move you off this position, but are you willing to acknowledge the causal connection between society being more accepting of trans adults and the increase of kids age 7 denying their bio-sex-gender?


by Betraisefold22 k

At least your side is achieving what it’s trying to. Having parents who see other parents fail their children pretend it’s not happening or worse, pretend it’s normal.

Buddy over here referring to a 7 year old boy as a she and as a trans.

by Luciom k

Cordi a pre puberal individual can't be trans because he doesn't even know what being a girl or a boy means.

Moderate viewpoint is trans people exist, and you can only be trans if after years living in sex X body after puberty, you constantly feel you actually are of the opposite sex without ever changing your mind.

Those people exist and shouldn't be discriminated against for this very peculiar characteristic, and when it costs us nothing or

Whats the correct parenting tactic in this instance in your guys opinion?

Are you trying to put policy in place that requires parents to take your recommended action?

What do you think is the solution to 7 year olds who claim they are the opposite gender?


It's a good question because there are no easy answers. It's both very problematic to interfere with parental rights, and very problematic to let abusive parents roam free and ruin their kid lives (not saying it applies to this case, h am answering generally).

I think it's one of the most actually gray areas possible in the law, and I don't have a clear cut answer about solutions because libertarianism doesn't answer the very important question of what society should do with people incapable of deciding for themselves (minors, incapacitated adults and so on).

A think a society of adults should strive for equilibrium and discuss these things a lot trying to find compassionate answers that balance the absolutely fundamental parental rights element with the fundamental protection of people who can't decide for themselves.

It's thorny, and it's truly complicated, unlike many other things in life where solutions are simple


by Luciom k

It's a good question because there are no easy answers. It's both very problematic to interfere with parental rights, and very problematic to let abusive parents roam free and ruin their kid lives (not saying it applies to this case, h am answering generally).

I think it's one of the most actually gray areas possible in the law, and I don't have a clear cut answer about solutions because libertarianism doesn't answer the very important quest

https://www.cato.org/commentary/transgen...


by Luciom k

It's a good question because there are no easy answers. It's both very problematic to interfere with parental rights, and very problematic to let abusive parents roam free and ruin their kid lives (not saying it applies to this case, h am answering generally).

I think it's one of the most actually gray areas possible in the law, and I don't have a clear cut answer about solutions because libertarianism doesn't answer the very important quest

While I think we would disagree on many of the pathways that come from this line of thinking, we both agree that getting down into the weeds on this topic is complicated.


Ye this is about trans but the problem is huge in general, think everything from extremely religious education of kids to demented elders.

There is no easy solution


by coordi k

While I think we would disagree on many of the pathways that come from this line of thinking, we both agree that getting down into the weeds on this topic is complicated.

I think we would agree on more things that you claim for incapacited adults.

we would probably disagree more wrt kids yes


At 7 years old there’s no medical transition only social. So there’s not much stakes involved in that. If you don’t like it don’t be their friend ig but there’s no child abuse happening.


by coordi k

What do you think is the solution to 7 year olds who claim they are the opposite gender?

Pretty much the same as when they say they are a firetruck. Ignore it. When they get a little bit older, say 10, then they need counseling.


by coordi k

Whats the correct parenting tactic in this instance in your guys opinion?

Are you trying to put policy in place that requires parents to take your recommended action?

What do you think is the solution to 7 year olds who claim they are the opposite gender?

1. I know what isn't the correct parenting tactic. That's conforming to the claim that a 7 year old boy thinks he's a girl and letting/making him live like that. Changing the kids pronouns and name and pretending this is normal. It's not.

2. Good question and slippery slope. First instinct is to say no, I'm a parent myself, last thing I'd want is for some governing body to tell me how to raise my kids. Now with that being said, it's quite clear that there is plenty of parents out there who are terrible parents. I'm sure you'll call me one, that's fine.

3. See 1. Ignore it. Let them be 7. My son believes he's Spiderman most days, should I let him fight crime in Queens? Should I start addressing him as Peter Parker and ask his classmates to do the same?

At 7 years old there’s no medical transition only social. So there’s not much stakes involved in that. If you don’t like it don’t be their friend ig but there’s no child abuse happening.

Plenty of stake involved in changing the pronouns and names of a 7 year old boy. Just let the kid be 7.


by Didace k

Pretty much the same as when they say they are a firetruck. Ignore it. When they get a little bit older, say 10, then they need counseling.

If a family with 3 children has TWO prepuberal self identified children, would
you think the same?


I’d say if that’s the argument you two want to make that you’re committing a category error.

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