2023 NFL Regular Season
As a niners fan I have spent this entire offseason in a silent rage
The last 20 years of being a niners fan has been an agony unlike any any franchise has ever come across. You can sit there and bemoan being a browns fan or a lions fan or blah blah blah **** you. The reality is in this period of time has blueballed no fanbase more than us *******s.
I sat through Mike Nolan. I sat through Smith over Rodgers. I sat through Mike ****ing god damned cockbreath Singletary. And then…
2011: Kyle Williams single handedly loses the NFCCG by botching returns not once but ****ing twice against the shittiest super bowl champion history has ever seen
2012: Turtle****er has no concept for the play clock and somehow someway I have to sit there and watch Joe Flacco become a super bowl champion
2013: Richard Sherman goes full WWE promo because he tips away a potential game winner in the NFCCG
2014-2017: because of the shittiest GM who has ever breathed air (needle can attest), I end up with 3 years of watching Chip Kelly and something called a Jim Tomsula coach this team into nothingness
2018: thinking he is so ****ing smart that he can trade for someone and flip him later, Lynch trades a 2nd for Jimmy mother****ing Womp
2019: 10 point lead in the 4th quarter of the Super Bowl? Watch me work
2020: lol
2021: 10 point lead in the 4th quarter of the NFCCG? Watch me work
Which brings us to last year. Somehow, despite everything that happened for TWENTY ****ING YEARS this cut deepest. This wasn’t even fair. I thought I was done with Jimmy. I wasn’t. The guy we traded 3 1sts for went down for the year and we ended up with him long enough for him to be such a fiasco he lost to Denver by Orlovskying before going down for the year and letting the last pick of the draft be the qb
And the last pick of the draft went 10-0
And the last pick of the draft had a shot at taking the niners to the ****ing super bowl
And he broke his elbow
And by halftime the only other qb on the roster had a concussion
And in something unlike anything I have ever seen in my ENTIRE ****ING LIFE a conference title game was being played without a qb
After thinking about this for a few months preparing myself for this season I have decided one thing and one thing only: **** each and every last one of you
With that in mind, welcome to the 2023 NFL Season
Your contenders:
1. Kansas City Chiefs: +600
Get ****ed. **** your Kermit ass QB, **** your morbidly obese coach who can’t keep his own children alive, **** your Kermit ass QB’s brother who sounds like a sexual predator, **** your Kermit ass QB’s wife who sounds like she cucks Kermit on the regular while posting thirst traps for the gram
**** your fanbase. **** your chop that you still do in the year of our lord 2023 for reasons I will never understand. **** your city, **** your state(s). I don’t give a **** if you claim the Chiefs from Kansas or Missouri, you’re a sack of ****. I had to watch you win a super bowl because your woman beating speedster broke open on Richard Sherman who is a man I want to see choke on his own delusion until the final ounce of life leaves his body. I hate you. I will always hate you
2. Philadelphia Eagles: +800
Get your ****ing ass out of here. Josh Johnson was drawing live to beat you until he got a concussion. JOSH JOHNSON! That buffoon has played for 47 football teams in 4 years. Neat little story. **** you anyway. Always Sunny has no redeeming characters cuz everyone in Philly is a malcontent POS. You have a jail in your stadiums. Trea Turner needed to buy billboard advertising to beg you to stop sending his family death threats. The only solace I have in the 9ers losing the NFCCG is you didn’t win the Super Bowl
3. San Francisco 49ers: +1000
I ****ing hate 9er fans with a fire that burns from 20000 suns. Your average 9er fan? Calling into SPORTS TALK RADIO to say Lynch should be lynched and Kyle should be fired because blah blah blah 3 1st round picks for lance blah blah blah Jimmy was the guy who coulda won the super bowl blah blah blah. I’m stuck sitting here rooting for a team whose best player is a Proud Boy. Our QB is from Iowa by way of Arizona so I already know before he opens his mouth he’s right there with Bosa. I visited Levis last year to watch the Rams game and somehow ended up in some insane wind tunnel directly underneath the pathway for where planes land in San Jose international 5 miles away. I was also watching a game in the parking lot of an amusement park for $400/ticket + $60 for a beer and chicken tenders. **** my ****ing life
4. Cincinnati Bengals: +1100
You dipshits give Paul Brown your hard earned money of which you have none. ****ing simps. Skyline chili is the stupidest **** I have ever heard of. You fat ****s sit at the alter of Joe Burrow despite the fact that he’s basically Boomer Esiason with a cigar. Have fun with that. You’re about to make him the highest paid NFL player of all time and there’s a 50/50 chance he’ll have some sort of leg injury that knocks him out for the next 7 seasons.
Also I drafted Chase last year and he was ****. So **** him. **** you too
5. Dallas Cowboys: +1500
Give me a second here….
I hate every single human being associated with this franchise and nothing gets my cock harder than knowing they have spent the last 2 years watching this team lose to the 9ers in the playoffs in the stupidest way imaginable BOTH ****ING TIMES! I have no sympathy for you. I go to sleep every night hoping Jerry Jones dies and wake up every morning furious he hasn’t. You employ Mike McCarthy. You pay some “mental health day” snowflake named Dakota an ungodly sum of money to win never. Micah Parsons gives heavy Clayton Bigsby vibes only Micah knows he’s black.
And the fans of this franchise?
Holy **** you ****ing loser ass dipshits in your loser ass city and your bumass state. If there was a just and loving god Texas would be ethered from existence and we wouldn’t have to pretend you how bout dem cowboy hicks have anything to say that we need to listen to. I will take a personal day when Jimmy Johnson dies to spend it all masturbating
6-32. Who gives a living ****
**** the Jets. Congrats on landing the immunized one. Can’t wait til you turn on him
**** the Ravens. You paid Lamar. Enjoy watching him do nothing
**** the Dolphins. I’m not certain Tua isn’t braindead as of this post
**** all of you. Let us football
can’t remember grear.was he an NFL reg ?
GREEAR was basically detroit Dom but with a hilarious charm to it
first post in the Lions thread from 2009, banned in '16
Larry Foote will be a Detroit Lion, ~100% chance of that.
Theres also talk between DET/KC that would involve Glen Dorsey coming here for our 2nd rd pick. Not sure I understand why Pioli wants to get rid of him but I'd gladly ship out our 2nd for him.
You add Dorsey/Foote and it makes our draft look that much better. Shaun Rogers also said he wants to come back to Detroit once he gets released from the Browns, which looks likely.
Biggest quest
Detroit’s SE representation was really a murderer’s row of characters back in the day. GREEAR and ikestoys attacking each other all the time stopping only to double team Riverman when he came off the top turnbuckle out of nowhere
Good times
Detroit’s SE representation was really a murderer’s row of characters back in the day. GREEAR and ikestoys attacking each other all the time stopping only to double team Riverman when he came off the top turnbuckle out of nowhere
Good times
Ike was one of the most prolific posters of all time. All over the site. I was absolutely certain he’d need to create an alt account after he lost the bet but I haven’t seen evidence that he has
The withdrawals he must have had would be voracious
yeah, could be...
First Offense
GREEAR10 - Called kyleb a Cleveland slappy and continued to go from there
Second Offense
GREEAR10 - circumventing profanity filter, trolling
Third Offense
GREEAR10 - personal attacks
Fourth Offense
GREEAR10 - excessive namecalling and trollbaiting
Fifth Offense
GREEAR10 - Personal attacks in Michigan Football thread (why would you think calling someone a "***.got" is ok?)
Sixth Offense
GREEAR10 - Name calling
Seventh Offense
GREEAR10 - Name calling
Eighth Offense
GREEAR10 - Name calling
Ninth Offense
GREEAR10 - Michigan meltdown
Tenth Offense
GREEAR10 - in accordance with our zero tolerance policy on homophobia
Eleventyth Offense
GREEAR10 - "What a stupid, ignorant, ratchet, ghetto ass thugtress after hearing that ****. **** her. Enjoy Rice next backhand *****."
and thats prob not even all of them, think ppl just didn't bother updating the list at points. but oddly enough he isn't on the lengthy perma-ban list, so ... #freegear?
Oh my man had RANGE
there are 63k posts in the detroit tigers thread, he’s been banned for years and I’m confident he has half those posts
yeah roghly half, looks like
Detroit’s SE representation was really a murderer’s row of characters back in the day. GREEAR and ikestoys attacking each other all the time stopping only to double team Riverman when he came off the top turnbuckle out of nowhere
Good times
Pretty great. SE particularly was just a wild time 10-15 years ago.
#freegear
se was amazing
now just sounds like a couple of moths repeatedly flying against the windows
se was amazing
now just sounds like a couple of moths repeatedly flying against the windows
same as the llsnl chat thread. Was so much fun for about 5 years and so addictive that I needed to self ban periodically so that I could get some work done. Now a load of the regs have left and been replaced by way worse ones and the rest of us have talked and argued about pretty much everything by this point
I just loved the gameday threads, the OP was always epic, tons of great gifs, storylines, and then every janked play had 250 replies within 1 second <3
being here for tebow vs stealers playoff win was amazing
Greear isn't ban on sight. He can continue to post from his current account with zero issue.
Beat weekend of the football year Boys and Girls…let’s hope we get some good games!
this is a wholesome group of teams. i'd be genuinely happy if 7 of these 8 teams won the super bowl
as long as somebody beats the chiefs it's house money
i don't like schilling my own posts but my retrospective from the tebow winner if you weren't around for it
https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showp...
also holy **** that was 12 years ago?
edit: holy **** that was a lot of ****ing posts in 2 minutes lol
