2023 NFL Regular Season
As a niners fan I have spent this entire offseason in a silent rage
The last 20 years of being a niners fan has been an agony unlike any any franchise has ever come across. You can sit there and bemoan being a browns fan or a lions fan or blah blah blah **** you. The reality is in this period of time has blueballed no fanbase more than us *******s.
I sat through Mike Nolan. I sat through Smith over Rodgers. I sat through Mike ****ing god damned cockbreath Singletary. And then…
2011: Kyle Williams single handedly loses the NFCCG by botching returns not once but ****ing twice against the shittiest super bowl champion history has ever seen
2012: Turtle****er has no concept for the play clock and somehow someway I have to sit there and watch Joe Flacco become a super bowl champion
2013: Richard Sherman goes full WWE promo because he tips away a potential game winner in the NFCCG
2014-2017: because of the shittiest GM who has ever breathed air (needle can attest), I end up with 3 years of watching Chip Kelly and something called a Jim Tomsula coach this team into nothingness
2018: thinking he is so ****ing smart that he can trade for someone and flip him later, Lynch trades a 2nd for Jimmy mother****ing Womp
2019: 10 point lead in the 4th quarter of the Super Bowl? Watch me work
2020: lol
2021: 10 point lead in the 4th quarter of the NFCCG? Watch me work
Which brings us to last year. Somehow, despite everything that happened for TWENTY ****ING YEARS this cut deepest. This wasn’t even fair. I thought I was done with Jimmy. I wasn’t. The guy we traded 3 1sts for went down for the year and we ended up with him long enough for him to be such a fiasco he lost to Denver by Orlovskying before going down for the year and letting the last pick of the draft be the qb
And the last pick of the draft went 10-0
And the last pick of the draft had a shot at taking the niners to the ****ing super bowl
And he broke his elbow
And by halftime the only other qb on the roster had a concussion
And in something unlike anything I have ever seen in my ENTIRE ****ING LIFE a conference title game was being played without a qb
After thinking about this for a few months preparing myself for this season I have decided one thing and one thing only: **** each and every last one of you
With that in mind, welcome to the 2023 NFL Season
Your contenders:
1. Kansas City Chiefs: +600
Get ****ed. **** your Kermit ass QB, **** your morbidly obese coach who can’t keep his own children alive, **** your Kermit ass QB’s brother who sounds like a sexual predator, **** your Kermit ass QB’s wife who sounds like she cucks Kermit on the regular while posting thirst traps for the gram
**** your fanbase. **** your chop that you still do in the year of our lord 2023 for reasons I will never understand. **** your city, **** your state(s). I don’t give a **** if you claim the Chiefs from Kansas or Missouri, you’re a sack of ****. I had to watch you win a super bowl because your woman beating speedster broke open on Richard Sherman who is a man I want to see choke on his own delusion until the final ounce of life leaves his body. I hate you. I will always hate you
2. Philadelphia Eagles: +800
Get your ****ing ass out of here. Josh Johnson was drawing live to beat you until he got a concussion. JOSH JOHNSON! That buffoon has played for 47 football teams in 4 years. Neat little story. **** you anyway. Always Sunny has no redeeming characters cuz everyone in Philly is a malcontent POS. You have a jail in your stadiums. Trea Turner needed to buy billboard advertising to beg you to stop sending his family death threats. The only solace I have in the 9ers losing the NFCCG is you didn’t win the Super Bowl
3. San Francisco 49ers: +1000
I ****ing hate 9er fans with a fire that burns from 20000 suns. Your average 9er fan? Calling into SPORTS TALK RADIO to say Lynch should be lynched and Kyle should be fired because blah blah blah 3 1st round picks for lance blah blah blah Jimmy was the guy who coulda won the super bowl blah blah blah. I’m stuck sitting here rooting for a team whose best player is a Proud Boy. Our QB is from Iowa by way of Arizona so I already know before he opens his mouth he’s right there with Bosa. I visited Levis last year to watch the Rams game and somehow ended up in some insane wind tunnel directly underneath the pathway for where planes land in San Jose international 5 miles away. I was also watching a game in the parking lot of an amusement park for $400/ticket + $60 for a beer and chicken tenders. **** my ****ing life
4. Cincinnati Bengals: +1100
You dipshits give Paul Brown your hard earned money of which you have none. ****ing simps. Skyline chili is the stupidest **** I have ever heard of. You fat ****s sit at the alter of Joe Burrow despite the fact that he’s basically Boomer Esiason with a cigar. Have fun with that. You’re about to make him the highest paid NFL player of all time and there’s a 50/50 chance he’ll have some sort of leg injury that knocks him out for the next 7 seasons.
Also I drafted Chase last year and he was ****. So **** him. **** you too
5. Dallas Cowboys: +1500
Give me a second here….
I hate every single human being associated with this franchise and nothing gets my cock harder than knowing they have spent the last 2 years watching this team lose to the 9ers in the playoffs in the stupidest way imaginable BOTH ****ING TIMES! I have no sympathy for you. I go to sleep every night hoping Jerry Jones dies and wake up every morning furious he hasn’t. You employ Mike McCarthy. You pay some “mental health day” snowflake named Dakota an ungodly sum of money to win never. Micah Parsons gives heavy Clayton Bigsby vibes only Micah knows he’s black.
And the fans of this franchise?
Holy **** you ****ing loser ass dipshits in your loser ass city and your bumass state. If there was a just and loving god Texas would be ethered from existence and we wouldn’t have to pretend you how bout dem cowboy hicks have anything to say that we need to listen to. I will take a personal day when Jimmy Johnson dies to spend it all masturbating
6-32. Who gives a living ****
**** the Jets. Congrats on landing the immunized one. Can’t wait til you turn on him
**** the Ravens. You paid Lamar. Enjoy watching him do nothing
**** the Dolphins. I’m not certain Tua isn’t braindead as of this post
**** all of you. Let us football
The story of the Chiefs this year is the defense. Mahomes is mostly just being a game manager and making a few big plays when needed.
If the Chiefs didn't have a championship caliber defense this year, even Mahomes playing out of his mind couldn't have dragged them this far.
The real story imo is Veach absolutely nailing the draft the last 3-4 years.
Sneed
McDuffie
Creed
Bolton
Trey Smith
Rashee Rice
Karlaftis
Pacheco
Willie Gay
Mike Danna
Jaylen Watson
Bryan Cook
Joshua Williams
Leo Chenal
Chamarri Connor
All still on rookie deals, all major contributors, a couple all pros, and several more playing at pro-bowl level.
Quinn to the Commanders. That is such an underwhelming hire given their situation.
The stench of the Synders must still be on the org around the league.
I totally agree. Really, truly boring. IDK, maybe the boring hire is the right one but you'd think you'd find an Offensive coach to partner with a top QB pick
although maybe....just maybe this might cause them to trade down for a huge haul and build around Howell. Which would be really good fun for content purposes
Chiefs ranked 15th in Rush Defense, giving up 4.5 YPC.
#1 Rusher in the league CMC - 1459
2nd - Henry - 1167
There's always the chance that for some unforeseen reason, the 49'ers will choose to completely ignore the run like the Ravens. Kinda doubtful though.
I totally agree. Really, truly boring. IDK, maybe the boring hire is the right one but you'd think you'd find an Offensive coach to partner with a top QB pick
although maybe....just maybe this might cause them to trade down for a huge haul and build around Howell. Which would be really good fun for content purposes
I was actually thinking the same thing
Quinn isn’t the guy you’re hiring if you’re taking a potential future of the franchise at 2
The story of the Chiefs this year is the defense. Mahomes is mostly just being a game manager and making a few big plays when needed.
If the Chiefs didn't have a championship caliber defense this year, even Mahomes playing out of his mind couldn't have dragged them this far.
The real story imo is Veach absolutely nailing the draft the last 3-4 years.
Sneed
McDuffie
Creed
Bolton
Trey Smith
Rashee Rice
Karlaftis
Pacheco
Willie Gay
Mike Danna
Jaylen Wats
I agree with this.
The Chiefs have drafted very well, they found contributors all over the field on both sides of the ball, at every round of the draft.
I wish the Falcons had half as many solid starters from their last 3 drafts…. Especially in rounds 3-7.
And this is by far the best defense of the Mahomes era.
I totally agree. Really, truly boring. IDK, maybe the boring hire is the right one but you'd think you'd find an Offensive coach to partner with a top QB pick
although maybe....just maybe this might cause them to trade down for a huge haul and build around Howell. Which would be really good fun for content purposes
I was actually thinking the same thing
Quinn isn’t the guy you’re hiring if you’re taking a potential future of the franchise at 2
Maybe he can assemble another all star coordinator/assistant staff to carry him like in Atlanta.
Maybe Commanders plan on keeping Eric Bienemy as OC?
His QB in Kansas City apparently was a big fan of him.
well their offense wasn't completely horrible, considering that their quarterback was something called sam howell. their problem was that their defense was the worst in the league by a mile. so if keeping bienemy is an option, i'd prob look into it
Not to rip off the Bork bandaid and trainwreck the next 50 posts but
49ers CEO Jed York revealed a conversation he had with Kyle Shanahan after a 2022 training camp practice when the coach admitted Mr. Irrelevant was better than Garoppolo and Lance.
"He's like, 'I think our third-string quarterback is our best quarterback ,'" York said, via David Bonilla of 49erswebzone.com. "I'm like, 'OK, what does that mean?' He's like, 'Well, obviously, we've invested in Trey. Trey is doing a good job. We're going to do everything that we can. We're not going to change that, and we're not going to change the depth chart, but I think Brock will end up being our quarterback at some point.'"
Shanahan didn't make the move himself. Instead, it worked itself out.
Lance began the season as the starter but fractured his right ankle in Week 2, and Garoppolo fractured his foot in Week 13.
Purdy became the starter in Week 14 last season and didn't lose until the NFC Championship Game when he injured his elbow early in the game.
"He didn't force it," York said of Shanahan's quarterback decision. "You had two injuries, and that's how Brock ended up playing. But he's always honest. One thing that owners don't love to hear when they've invested money and/or draft picks, or both, into people is that the last pick in the draft is the guy that we think is the best. That's generally not great news, but he's honest, and he let it play out the right way."
Garoppolo, who the 49ers paid $121 million for six seasons, and Lance, who cost the team multiple first-round picks, no longer are in San Francisco.
I believed Kyle thinking this to be the case from the very beginning, but it’s very weird to see it actually admitted to. Seems confusing in context. If Lance played out halfway decently and didn’t shatter his ankle then what?
Harbs is a weird ****in guy
Not to rip off the Bork bandaid and trainwreck the next 50 posts but
I believed Kyle thinking this to be the case from the very beginning, but it’s very weird to see it actually admitted to. Seems confusing in context. If Lance played out halfway decently and didn’t shatter his ankle then what?
ultimately I guess it shows that the NFL and it's teams are $Billion organisations and there are politics at play when making decisions
The story of the Chiefs this year is the defense. Mahomes is mostly just being a game manager and making a few big plays when needed.
If the Chiefs didn't have a championship caliber defense this year, even Mahomes playing out of his mind couldn't have dragged them this far.
The real story imo is Veach absolutely nailing the draft the last 3-4 years.
Sneed
McDuffie
Creed
Bolton
Trey Smith
Rashee Rice
Karlaftis
Pacheco
Willie Gay
Mike Danna
Jaylen Wats
I get your overall point, who you're trying to give credit to and what you're trying to say.
But ultimately the Chiefs are just another average team if they had an average QB. Mahomes is the core which this is all built upon. Same with Brady. I just saw people make this mistake for 2 decades.
Without the top QB propping a poverty offense up, it is just another 7-8 win team and then who cares how many good defensive picks you make. You know how many NFL teams don't have elite QB's propping up certain aspects of their team but make good moves like those listed above? It just ultimately ends up being meaningless and no one cares.
And Mahomes leading 2 long TD drives to start the game sets the Chiefs D up to play their style the rest of the game basically. When you largely know how you're going to have to play to win certain games, it makes the defenses job a lot easier.
When I said this about Brady it just sounded like simping truther stuff, but it basically true of the elite QBs even when they aren't dominating. It is a universal truth that can't really be quantified.
If the Chiefs had Derek Carr (not elite, but not a bum either) throwing to an aging Kelce, Rashee Rice and JAGS, their defense being good would be some footnote no one cared about. And their run D would get exposed a lot more in gameflow neutral situations, not to mention you probably get more injuries from being on the field more.
The Panthers had a good defense this year, so did the Patriots.
And no one is going to give your GM credit when you've spent high picks on Skyy Moore, CEH, traded for Toney and have average play at the offensive tackle positions when you have like the 18th best offense in the NFL. Actually, you might get fired sooner than later. The good gets amplified, the bad gets minimized with a Mahomes.
Panthers defense was 25th in DVOA. It probably seems better than it was since their offense was so awful and for a team with such a bad record usually the defense is absolutely horrendous like Washington's.
yeah, wasn't really meaning in total but more late in the year when Horn was back they were a lot better. Some of that is schedule setup too, but point remains that most of these bum teams did some things right that end up not meaning much because their QB sucks or is mediocre.
When you make the AFCCG every year and the Super Bowl almost every year. If they didn't do those this year, those hard questions were getting asked. They might anyway.
As the 3 seed they beat the 2 seed on the road and the 1 seed on the road. Both of which were very strong teams.
It's the height of delusional fandom to say that's all just Mahomes doing Mahomes things. They got lucky. Mahomes is doing his best Eli Manning impression. Anyone who says otherwise needs to produce the receipts of how much they bet on the Chiefs to make the Super Bowl, as they had longshot odds right up until the playoffs started.
When you make the AFCCG every year and the Super Bowl almost every year. If they didn't do those this year, those hard questions were getting asked. They might anyway.
As the 3 seed they beat the 2 seed on the road and the 1 seed on the road. Both of which were very strong teams.
It's the height of delusional fandom to say that's all just Mahomes doing Mahomes things. They got lucky. Mahomes is doing his best Eli Manning impression. Anyone w
I don't really care about any of these people to have bias towards them. I did bet the Chiefs vs Bills and Dolphins which I posted here, not sure what that has to do with anything.
No one said its ALL Mahomes just like no one ever said it is all Brady, he's just the main and most important ingredient. Replace him with a QB you deem league average and the Chiefs are just another run of the mill team barring small sample run good.
We just did this **** for 20 years with another guy, now you let 1-2 years go by and you're right back at it?
If the Chiefs had Derek Carr (not elite, but not a bum either) throwing to an aging Kelce, Rashee Rice and JAGS, their defense being good would be some footnote no one cared about. And their run D would get exposed a lot more in gameflow neutral situations, not to mention you probably get more injuries from being on the field more.
The Panthers had a good defense this year, so did the Patriots.
And no one is going to give your GM credit when
I agree, this years team would be average w/o Mahomes. My only point is that this team also wouldn't be going anywhere w/o this defense.
Everyone has some whiffs. Show me a team that's drafted better than the Chiefs the last 4 years (remember they're picking usually around 30th in each round).
I don't really care about any of these people to have bias towards them. I did bet the Chiefs vs Bills and Dolphins which I posted here, not sure what that has to do with anything.
No one said its ALL Mahomes just like no one ever said it is all Brady, he's just the main and most important ingredient. Replace him with a QB you deem league average and the Chiefs are just another run of the mill team barring small sample run good.
We just did
Sorry if I wasn't clear.
You said with Mahomes the good gets amplified and the bad gets minimized.
And I said it's not Mahomes: it's winning.
The rest was explaining that. I wont repeat it, so as not to obfuscate my point again.
Sorry if I wasn't clear.
You said with Mahomes the good gets amplified and the bad gets minimized.
And I said it's not Mahomes: it's winning.
The rest was explaining that. I wont repeat it, so as not to obfuscate my point again.
When I said the good gets amplified and the bad gets minimized, i meant front offices/coaching/rest of team when you've got an elite QB...Not the QB himself.
When I said the good gets amplified and the bad gets minimized, i meant front offices/coaching/rest of team when you've got an elite QB...Not the QB himself.
Right. And I'm saying it's not 'when you've got an elite QB' it's 'when you are in the AFCCG+ every year'
Those two may seem like the same thing but they are not the same thing. It's entirely possible for a team QB'd by Patrick Mahomes not to make the AFCCG.
