2023 NFL Regular Season
As a niners fan I have spent this entire offseason in a silent rage
The last 20 years of being a niners fan has been an agony unlike any any franchise has ever come across. You can sit there and bemoan being a browns fan or a lions fan or blah blah blah **** you. The reality is in this period of time has blueballed no fanbase more than us *******s.
I sat through Mike Nolan. I sat through Smith over Rodgers. I sat through Mike ****ing god damned cockbreath Singletary. And then…
2011: Kyle Williams single handedly loses the NFCCG by botching returns not once but ****ing twice against the shittiest super bowl champion history has ever seen
2012: Turtle****er has no concept for the play clock and somehow someway I have to sit there and watch Joe Flacco become a super bowl champion
2013: Richard Sherman goes full WWE promo because he tips away a potential game winner in the NFCCG
2014-2017: because of the shittiest GM who has ever breathed air (needle can attest), I end up with 3 years of watching Chip Kelly and something called a Jim Tomsula coach this team into nothingness
2018: thinking he is so ****ing smart that he can trade for someone and flip him later, Lynch trades a 2nd for Jimmy mother****ing Womp
2019: 10 point lead in the 4th quarter of the Super Bowl? Watch me work
2020: lol
2021: 10 point lead in the 4th quarter of the NFCCG? Watch me work
Which brings us to last year. Somehow, despite everything that happened for TWENTY ****ING YEARS this cut deepest. This wasn’t even fair. I thought I was done with Jimmy. I wasn’t. The guy we traded 3 1sts for went down for the year and we ended up with him long enough for him to be such a fiasco he lost to Denver by Orlovskying before going down for the year and letting the last pick of the draft be the qb
And the last pick of the draft went 10-0
And the last pick of the draft had a shot at taking the niners to the ****ing super bowl
And he broke his elbow
And by halftime the only other qb on the roster had a concussion
And in something unlike anything I have ever seen in my ENTIRE ****ING LIFE a conference title game was being played without a qb
After thinking about this for a few months preparing myself for this season I have decided one thing and one thing only: **** each and every last one of you
With that in mind, welcome to the 2023 NFL Season
Your contenders:
1. Kansas City Chiefs: +600
Get ****ed. **** your Kermit ass QB, **** your morbidly obese coach who can’t keep his own children alive, **** your Kermit ass QB’s brother who sounds like a sexual predator, **** your Kermit ass QB’s wife who sounds like she cucks Kermit on the regular while posting thirst traps for the gram
**** your fanbase. **** your chop that you still do in the year of our lord 2023 for reasons I will never understand. **** your city, **** your state(s). I don’t give a **** if you claim the Chiefs from Kansas or Missouri, you’re a sack of ****. I had to watch you win a super bowl because your woman beating speedster broke open on Richard Sherman who is a man I want to see choke on his own delusion until the final ounce of life leaves his body. I hate you. I will always hate you
2. Philadelphia Eagles: +800
Get your ****ing ass out of here. Josh Johnson was drawing live to beat you until he got a concussion. JOSH JOHNSON! That buffoon has played for 47 football teams in 4 years. Neat little story. **** you anyway. Always Sunny has no redeeming characters cuz everyone in Philly is a malcontent POS. You have a jail in your stadiums. Trea Turner needed to buy billboard advertising to beg you to stop sending his family death threats. The only solace I have in the 9ers losing the NFCCG is you didn’t win the Super Bowl
3. San Francisco 49ers: +1000
I ****ing hate 9er fans with a fire that burns from 20000 suns. Your average 9er fan? Calling into SPORTS TALK RADIO to say Lynch should be lynched and Kyle should be fired because blah blah blah 3 1st round picks for lance blah blah blah Jimmy was the guy who coulda won the super bowl blah blah blah. I’m stuck sitting here rooting for a team whose best player is a Proud Boy. Our QB is from Iowa by way of Arizona so I already know before he opens his mouth he’s right there with Bosa. I visited Levis last year to watch the Rams game and somehow ended up in some insane wind tunnel directly underneath the pathway for where planes land in San Jose international 5 miles away. I was also watching a game in the parking lot of an amusement park for $400/ticket + $60 for a beer and chicken tenders. **** my ****ing life
4. Cincinnati Bengals: +1100
You dipshits give Paul Brown your hard earned money of which you have none. ****ing simps. Skyline chili is the stupidest **** I have ever heard of. You fat ****s sit at the alter of Joe Burrow despite the fact that he’s basically Boomer Esiason with a cigar. Have fun with that. You’re about to make him the highest paid NFL player of all time and there’s a 50/50 chance he’ll have some sort of leg injury that knocks him out for the next 7 seasons.
Also I drafted Chase last year and he was ****. So **** him. **** you too
5. Dallas Cowboys: +1500
Give me a second here….
I hate every single human being associated with this franchise and nothing gets my cock harder than knowing they have spent the last 2 years watching this team lose to the 9ers in the playoffs in the stupidest way imaginable BOTH ****ING TIMES! I have no sympathy for you. I go to sleep every night hoping Jerry Jones dies and wake up every morning furious he hasn’t. You employ Mike McCarthy. You pay some “mental health day” snowflake named Dakota an ungodly sum of money to win never. Micah Parsons gives heavy Clayton Bigsby vibes only Micah knows he’s black.
And the fans of this franchise?
Holy **** you ****ing loser ass dipshits in your loser ass city and your bumass state. If there was a just and loving god Texas would be ethered from existence and we wouldn’t have to pretend you how bout dem cowboy hicks have anything to say that we need to listen to. I will take a personal day when Jimmy Johnson dies to spend it all masturbating
6-32. Who gives a living ****
**** the Jets. Congrats on landing the immunized one. Can’t wait til you turn on him
**** the Ravens. You paid Lamar. Enjoy watching him do nothing
**** the Dolphins. I’m not certain Tua isn’t braindead as of this post
**** all of you. Let us football
The story of the Chiefs this year is the defense. Mahomes is mostly just being a game manager and making a few big plays when needed.
If the Chiefs didn't have a championship caliber defense this year, even Mahomes playing out of his mind couldn't have dragged them this far.
The real story imo is Veach absolutely nailing the draft the last 3-4 years.
If KC loses in the Wild Card round people would call for Veach to be fired. In addition to the great draft picks you listed, mostly later round, here's the full list of skill position players he drafted in the first two rounds since taking over as GM in 2017:
2019: Mecole Hardman
2020: Clyde Edwards-Helaire
2022: Skyy Moore
2023: Rashee Rice
That's the full list. Thanks to the emergence of Rice towards the end of the season, at least nobody can say that all his early round skill position picks have been total busts anymore.
here's the full list of skill position players he drafted in the first two rounds since taking over as GM in 2017:
2019: Mecole Hardman
2020: Clyde Edwards-Helaire
2022: Skyy Moore
2023: Rashee Rice
That's the full list. Thanks to the emergence of Rice towards the end of the season, at least nobody can say that all his early round skill position picks have been total busts anymore.
They had one of the best pass catching duos of all time during part of that span and when they let tyreek go they brought in something like 34 new FA pass catchers - they went from having a WR room to a WR wing in their facility. There are roster limits so they were limited at that point how many WRs they could draft.
If KC loses in the Wild Card round people would call for Veach to be fired. In addition to the great draft picks you listed, mostly later round, here's the full list of skill position players he drafted in the first two rounds since taking over as GM in 2017:
2019: Mecole Hardman
2020: Clyde Edwards-Helaire
2022: Skyy Moore
2023: Rashee Rice
That's the full list. Thanks to the emergence of Rice towards the end of the season, at least nobody can
Yeah he's been shitty on those. I assume Reid has massive impact on selecting the offensive skill position players. They seem to have an athletic type that they think they can mold into a great receiver. It hasn't worked. I'd really like to see them draft some high-floor guys with actual WR instincts and/or some big bodies that know how to fight for the ball.
But then again the draft nerds loved Skyy Moore. Brugler said he had the best route running out of all the WRs, which is literally his worst trait now. So weird. The draft is a crapshoot. If anything I wonder if we're doing something wrong coaching these guys. Which is more of a Reid call, and how he picks his assistants.
And again, you really need to cherry pick just that category to find something to complain about, while ignoring all the other great draft picks, being instrumental in getting Mahomes, and the Tyreek Hill trade, which worked out great. Name a GM who hasn't had busts. Veach's just seem to cluster in a certain area, which could just be variance, or maybe they have a blind spot. At least it's trending upward with the Rice pick.
Conversely, the Chiefs seem to be a defensive back factory at the moment. It's not supposed to be this easy to pick up all pros and solid players at a premium position like CB in basically any round. You can't just throw those results out.
I spend a lot of time on Chiefsplanet. Literally no one would have called for Veach to be fired if we lost the Miami game, and if they did they'd be laughed off the site. This was a ****ed up year all around. No one had any expectations for the playoffs, and knowledgeable Chiefs fans know what they have in Veach. He'd need to completely whiff for a few drafts before people would start calling for that.
Yeah he's been shitty on those. I assume Reid has massive impact on the offensive skill position players. They seem to have an athletic type that they think they can mold into a great receiver. It hasn't worked. I'd really like to see them draft some high-floor guys with actual WR instincts and/or some big bodies that know how to fight for the ball.
But you really need to cherry pick just that category to find something to complain about, wh
huh?
I think he meant not expecting a lot in the playoffs.
KC was shorter than odds on to win AFCW, even with that run by DEN.
Yeah I mean expectations once we got to the playoffs. There was always hope because of our defense, and Mahomes. But the team really needed to turn around a bunch of **** to go this far, which somehow they magically did, starting at about week 16.
we have the game's best QB, arguably the current best head coach, an ELITE D and an ultra-reliable placekicker, but don't expect to do much in the one-and-done portion of the season
does not compute
I spend a lot of time on Chiefsplanet. Literally no one would have called for Veach to be fired if we lost the Miami game, and if they did they'd be laughed off the site. This was a ****ed up year all around. No one had any expectations for the playoffs, and knowledgeable Chiefs fans know what they have in Veach. He'd need to completely whiff for a few drafts before people would start calling for that.
On ArrowheadPride the overall sentiment was pretty negative, including on Veach. If you sort by "most recommended" in the comment section during the second half of the regular season, you'll find a bunch of posts about Veach.
You're right about the "no expectations for the playoffs" part but that started only after the bye week. The whole off-season most Chiefs thought they would run it back with #1 WR Kadarius Toney and #2 WR Skyy Moore. At that point most people thought that Rashee Rice would be mostly redshirted like other rookies in the past.
FWIW I definitely don't agree with negative feelings about Veach. But I also think people are right when they blame the ridiculously bad WR room on him that resulted in the franchise QB being visibly upset with his teammates for the first time in his career. Since keeping Mahomes happy is among the main priorities for the team, I'm sure we'll see a very different WR group next season even though moving on from Toney and Moore doesn't make sense because they're on rookie contracts.
The real story imo is Veach absolutely nailing the draft the last 3-4 years.
Sneed
McDuffie
Creed
Bolton
Trey Smith
Rashee Rice
Karlaftis
Pacheco
Willie Gay
Mike Danna
Jaylen Watson
Bryan Cook
Joshua Williams
Leo Chenal
Chamarri Connor
All still on rookie deals, all major contributors, a couple all pros, and several more playing at pro-bowl level.
lmao
we have the game's best QB, arguably the current best head coach, an ELITE D and an ultra-reliable placekicker, but don't expect to do much in the one-and-done portion of the season
does not compute
It doesn’t fit the narrative of getting both the GMs balls in your mouth and slurping hungrily
we have the game's best QB, arguably the current best head coach, an ELITE D and an ultra-reliable placekicker, but don't expect to do much in the one-and-done portion of the season
does not compute
Did you watch the Chiefs in the second half of the season? They got destroyed by Green Bay, Denver and the Raiders.
On ArrowheadPride the overall sentiment was pretty negative, including on Veach. If you sort by "most recommended" in the comment section during the second half of the regular season, you'll find a bunch of posts about Veach.
You're right about the "no expectations for the playoffs" part but that started only after the bye week. The whole off-season most Chiefs thought they would run it back with #1 WR Kadarius Toney and #2 WR Skyy Moore. A
If you're talking about in-game threads, that's a whole different animal. People completely lose their minds in-game. They want to fire everyone. I also listen to like 10 different Chiefs podcasts (which is ridiculous I realize). They have no problem acknowledging some of the crappy draft picks, but overall no one even comes close to wanting to can Veach.
I'm sure we'll see a different WR room too. Just like rebuilding the O-line after the Tamba Bay debacle. I guess they're going to have to try to run it one more time with Skyy, which is unfortunate. I really hope they cut ties with Toney, the dude is erratic and actively cost us the Lions game.
I don’t think anyone is surprised KC made it but it’s unlikely you’re going into the playoffs thinking it’s them
They had to win in Buffalo and win in baltimore when mahomes has never played a road playoff game. In no world was that a given
Along with his demand for control, his fail after Brady/QB lameness, his salary demands, suspicion he's more and more out of touch with modern players only camouflaged by Brady produced succees ... I think a big reason everyone is passing on Belichick is his intolerable insults to the media, the fans and the city with his press conference behavior. At least I hope that's part of it. As in: "You better be bringing home Lombardi Trophies if you act like that, and I don't see any evidence you'll be doing any such thing. We don't want you."
Beautiful.
Yeah what owner is down for the whole negative circus of Belichick press conferences? He kind of painted himself into a corner on that one.
I think it is more the contract demands/organization overhaul needed to accommodate him + the fact he is turning 72 years old in a few months and hasn't won a playoff game since a year before covid hit
but it is also true that being a dick to the media plays a lot better when you're a perennially contending/SB winning machine
It's idiotic he even looked. Dude, you peaked. Go out on top.
he never peaked, Brady peaked, he was merely along for the mustache ride.
we have the game's best QB, arguably the current best head coach, an ELITE D and an ultra-reliable placekicker, but don't expect to do much in the one-and-done portion of the season
does not compute
Are you describing the Ravens? The "ultra reliable placekicker" fooled me.
All kidding aside, KC's road to the SB had about 8% equity. A ML parlay would pay you about 10:1 assuming you got on them early against MIA.
I don't know in what world that translates to an expected SB appearance, which is the standard when you've been there 3 of the past 4 years.
When your one positive is your accuracy, but you come in last place in a passing game that focuses on accuracy.
You don't deserve the bag.
Precision Passing with CJ, Tua, Minshew, Jalen, Baker, and Geno.
Spoiler
Tua finishes in last place
Are you describing the Ravens? The "ultra reliable placekicker" fooled me.
All kidding aside, KC's road to the SB had about 8% equity. A ML parlay would pay you about 10:1 assuming you got on them early against MIA.
I don't know in what world that translates to an expected SB appearance, which is the standard when you've been there 3 of the past 4 years.
we've gone from "no one had any expectations for the playoffs" to "an expected SB appearance" in 4.6 seconds Bob. not even Butker would have success kicking at those shifting goalposts
fwiw, Butker has 45% more playoff FGAs than Tucker with the same amount of misses. Tucker hasn't successfully executed nearly as many pressure packed playoff kicks as Butker has
Those two may seem like the same thing but they are not the same thing. It's entirely possible for a team QB'd by Patrick Mahomes not to make the AFCCG.
In the SB thread I've posted a picture of one of our kids Chiefs spirit week in elementary school.
Just realized, in 5 years of preschool, kindergarten and elementary school they've done Chiefs Superbowl spirit week 4 times. Doesn't really matter if that streak ends next year, by that time we're probably not around here anymore anyway.
