The costs of trans visibility

Its documented in the online dating thread that you struggle to even get matches. Its basically beyond a shadow of a doubt that you don't have an issue with matching with too many secret trans people trying to trick you into sucking their dick. Please stop with this nonesense.

here's a general hint, when you cease talking facts and then shift goal posts entirely to make it about something entirely different and now no longer about what was being discussed but now start talking about intangible filled with whataboutism

then it's clear you're extremely biased in this matter and were just looking for confirmation bias - one way or another your world view must be correct and so we're going to keep throwing different shaped blocks at the hole until we find one that can plausibly fit

this is a cult

If they did that you'd still be in here squealing about something else. It's obvious you guys are just fumbling about for a pretext to **** on transgender people.

jfc that's a lot of projection dude

i have posted a lot about the frustrations of the lack of quality of the dating pool of single women in their 30s in rural America compared to where i was living in cosmopolitan cities

there's also been a lot of attempts at tongue in cheek humor at my own expense in that thread that clearly missed the mark and were taken seriously - I'm trying to be sympathetic and aware to the plights of others as there are people there who literally post about getting 2-3 matches over a year - that thread is generally one of positivity and support

when someone says "i never get any matches" I'm not going to write "that sucks bro, try being better looking" but instead relate to similar issues I've faced (and leave out that it's on a very different scale from them) and how i decided to tackle them and hope that can help them on their journey

you deeply misread or misunderstood, i have zero issues with getting matches - the gripe is that it's now significantly harder to date very attractive women with a good career because most them which are now age appropriate are married as I have no interest in dating a woman who works a cashier job which are most single women in rural Maine

when I'm in major cities where the pool is vibrant, that magically goes away and you also know that from the thread

honestly, man... I'm deeply disappointed in you right now

i have never to my knowledge tried to slander or shame you like this and what you chose to use isn't even remotely true and you're putting me in a no win situation here where i either accept this bullshit or respond like a total douchebag with "no man I crush it with the ladies, I'm so friggin tall, good looking and successful that it's never a problem"

Umm, no. It has been pointed out again and again that there is no good solution for this issue. Which "solution" did you mean that I (and everyone else) seems ok with?

No, we have just shown you again and again that it is not. Are you truly this dense? Or attempting to gaslight us?

The analogy was with unfairly competing in sports events, not with being trans. Come on guys, I know you're not that stupid. Why don't you stick to honest debate over strawman attacks.

I dunno where the projection comes in when I've been in a relationship for the last ~4 years. I never struggled with online dating either.

Regardless, matching with secret trans people trying to trick you into sucking their dick is objectively not an issue for you so pls stop pretending it is.

Based on the thread title, this does not fit the definition of a completely unrelated website. Another completely illogical attack.

True, but irrelevant. They could allow those who want to be self identify as trans not to be matched with those who definitely aren't interested in them. I imagine it would take a few hours of one person's time to do so.

This is objectively incorrect. The analogy was about motivations with the context being motivation for being trans.

The likening was you either rob a bank for nefarious reasons or good reasons but you are still robbing a bank, just like you transition for good or bad reasons you are still robbing a bank

Don't call others stupid when you can't follow a simple thread

First of all, learn how forums work so you don't do double posts. Second, while rickroll brought up a whole lot of other topics (murders! rapes! etc), the specific one I was responding to was the claim that it was a waste of time - for trans people - to only disclose being trans while chatting. That specific thing is resolved by the app setting that allows you to display whether you are cis or trans (or other things) directly on your profile, i.e. prior to chatting. There might be any number of other issues, but this specific one cited by rickroll is the "more than anything" issue is resolved.

i never said that though, i never said anything remotely close to being afraid of being tricked into sucking a trans dick

isn't this a hint when you need to invent things instead of saying what i actually said that perhaps what i said was reasonable? which is why you need to invent extreme strawmen instead of dealing with what i actually said?

also, i edited and added some more thoughts to that post above that you probably missed

i also didn't intent projection that way, you're not wrong to interpret that way either as that's the standard usage, i meant to say that you were not looking at it objectively, ie you see my gripes here about a poorly designed feature and that gets you to project that my earlier posts in another may have been due to utterly failing

i know you're in a long term relationship and am happy for you

and I'm not mad by your comment, i still think you're a great guy, but it is genuinely disappointing to see you post that - even if it were true, it would still be a cheap way to discredit discussion of a poorly designed feature - i know it's a bit of open season on that stuff now and I'm a major reason for that so i am aware of the hypocritical nature of my complaints, but you're better than that

Not really. There are many specific apps for gay people, which seem to be very popular and likely have benefits specific for their customers.

There are even dating apps specifically for farmers and those who love farmers. As someone who has been married for a long time and presumably has not used dating apps, you reasonably don't know much about how they work and what kinds work the best.

Funny, I thought we were just discussing things in a forum, and even one in which no known trans people participate. I don't think these words being sent through the internet are hurting any trans people.

If I'm wrong, I would love to hear from one letting us know exactly who and what is hurtful, as I would try to avoid hurting anyone.

Sorry, this is meant as pushback against the idea that trans people should choose whatever app they are most comfortable with?

Gay people and trans people are not the same thing. Presumably some trans people are happy to go on a gay-focused apps, others might not want to. Some might want to be on the farmer app, others may not want to. It's their choice.

That's not the way I remember it. If you care to take it any further, feel free to quote and explain.

is this also not rape?

I don't even know what you're talking about honestly. I'm trying to explain why the dating app is likely positioning themselves in this manner, and explaining why it makes sense for them to do so. Not that I agree with it.

You sat in here and whined, literally whined that you weren't being read and people weren't taking the time to read and understand your position. Well.... you got a lot of attention for something that quite honestly, you still don't understand.

Complain to the app company.

In a normal context I would just swipe left on a trans person. I spent .1 second dealing with that issue. So what is the issue here that has you making 25 posts on the topic?

dude, you keep shifting goal posts and using absurd nonsense

you and uke were literally putting incorrect information out there - to which i took the time to explain why it was wrong

how is that whining but not what you did whining?

you're not posting in good faith here at all

No it is not, and he specifically addressed how and why. Openly identifying as trans still does not filter you out of the searches of people who will never be interested in you, and it is not easily noticed on your profile.

Therefore time may still be wasted before that comes out, or even (arguably) worse, trans people will get a lot of matches which soon disappear.

If you don't understand or deny anything here please specifically object or admit that you were wrong again. Thanks.

Sure, they may prefer to use the general app. But I disagree that using the general app would be the "simplist thing" which is what you claimed.

And I didn't mean they should use a gay app. They should use an app for trans people and those who want to meet trans people.

Jesus... I genuinely can't understand why this is hard to grasp.

IF A TRANS MAN PUTS IN THEIR PROFILE THAT THEY ARE A BIOLOGICAL WOMAN, someone like rick, who says they only want to be matched w/ biological women, will be matched w/ a TRANS MAN.

The ONLY way this can be fixed is if they have someone who manually approves every profile on the site, or there's some AI that can 100% spot an adams apple. Outside of that... you're just going to have to swipe left and move on if you spot a trans person.

You're claiming something else, that the app itself says it doesn't do... and quite honestly, I think they probably have this filtering (because they say they do), you and Rick and whomever else, just aren't understanding the above.